Almost through...week one, anyway.

Well, it's been one week of eating clean and things are going pretty well. This weekend wasn't the best, but I'll get to that in a minute. Highlight of my week (foodwise) was eating a yummy Italian beef sandwich that was amazing! It's my mom's recipe that I've always loved and when I realized it was clean, I was pumped! Italian beef is one of my all-time faves! And I love crock pot meals because 1. I throw it together in the morning and don't have to worry about it until I'm ready to eat and 2. there are usually leftovers! Can't get much better than that. I've enjoyed everything I've eaten so far and it's so nice to realize that eating clean can actually be tasty! One of my new favorite snacks, especially for these hot summer days, is frozen red grapes. Just wash them, throw them in the freezer and voila...delicious little snack! I've been eating what I would consider typical diet foods but luckily I like it all. I feel like I've been eating the same things over and over again. I'm anxious to discover a variety of clean foods and it's pretty exciting when I make that discovery. But honestly, it doesn't seem like I've had much time lately to do that. You would think that now that I'm off of work for the summer I'd have all the time in the world. Common misconception. In fact, it seems that life seems to get even more busy! But I shouldn't complain. I wouldn't trade my life for the world. I have been awfully busy though. Case in point: this weekend. Don't get me wrong...I had a wonderful time and glad that I was able to do everything I did. But being away from home and with family and friends can make eating clean difficult. Especially while I'm still new at it. I wouldn't say the weekend was a total bust. In fact, looking back at it, I don't think I did as bad as I was thinking. So here's what happened...I got up as usual at the butt crack on Friday and went to class. I ate half of a banana on my way...I feel like I need the energy to get through the workout but don't really want my pre-workout snack to make a reappeareance in the middle of class. Afterwards I got a smoothie which was my breakfast. Then, we left for St. Louis en route for Pappy's Smokehouse. I'm not lying when I say there was virtually no clean choices on their menu. Sure they had veggies for a side, but they were fried or covered in sugar. Not good. Had I been more prepared I probably could have come up with something better than what I got, but I wasn't. So I ended up with a beef brisket sandwich, green beans, and sweet potato fries. I didn't eat the bun but some BBQ sauce accidentally got squirted on my meat. =) The green beans were maybe okay, not sure how they were prepared, but the sweet potato fries...not. Remember the "covered in sugar" I spoke of earlier. That would be the sweet potato fries. Maybe "covered" is a little excessive, but there is no way those babies were clean. So we left Pappy's and I felt like crap. I had worked so hard all week to eat clean and I felt like it all went down the drain with that one meal. But it's just hard. I could've brought my own meal and eaten on my own but I want to eat with my family. I had taken some snacks but we left for the zoo and I didn't bring them with me. It was hotter than a two dollar pistol and I was lured in by some frozen lemonade. I read the label and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it wasn't totally clean. At that point I was delirious from the heat and didn't care. One yay for me moment was when I had been drinking cool/lukewarm water all day and my sister got some ice cold soda. I literally started to put the straw to my mouth but then I realized what I was about to do and stopped. So yay for me! Supper with other family and friends wasn't too bad either. I ordered a veggie burger with all kinds of crazy stuff in it...bulgar wheat, brown rice, mushrooms, etc. I was a little leery but I actually liked it! I got a side of cottage cheese with pineapple and felt pretty good until they brought out little bowls of ice cream for my cousin's birthday. I didn't really need it and I knew no one would care if I didn't. So what did I do? Ate it. Nice. This might be the time to also mention the chocolate yogurt with coconut I accidentally ate from Coldstone. But hey, if you know me, you know this is a huge step for me. I have never gone to Coldstone and ordered something that isn't ice cream with at least three mix-ins. Again, not clean but better than my usual and I only ate about half of it. So at the end of Friday, I felt like poo. Today wasn't too bad. Eggs, yogurt and a banana for breakfast, grilled chicken with a salad and salsa for lunch, and cheesy chicken roll-ups for supper. As far as the food, it's pretty much all been clean today. What I haven't done too well with is eating every 2-3 hours. So I'm not sure what to feel about this weekend. I've really struggled with whether or not I'm going to be able to keep this up past the one month. Crap, I've not even gone a whole week and I've already screwed up! But I refuse to let it stop me. But there are going to be more times like this weekend in my life where I'm not going to have many clean options or temptation is going to be outrageous. Hopefully I'll learn how to deal with all that better as time goes on. I'm already nervous about my birthday. It's 10 days away and I should be able to eat a piece of cake on my birthday, right? Or am I just using that as an excuse to eat something so unclean it's probably a sin? *sigh* I just wanted to eat clean for 28 days. I've already blown it but again, I'm not going to consider it done. I'm still in this. I've just hit a speed bump. I'm starting a Jillian Michaels exercise program with my sister and her friend on Monday. It's a 30-day thing. I'm sure it'll be killer but I'm looking forward to it. Right now though, I'm looking forward to bed tonight. It's been a long weekend and after walking around the zoo all day Friday then walking all over downtown St. Louis today for the Race for the Cure (which was awesome, by the way), I am exhausted. And there's nothing like your own bed. So until next time...

The First 48

Ok, so it hasn't technically been 48 hours yet, but whatever. I started my full day of eating clean yesterday but technically I ate clean for supper and a snack on Saturday evening. I spent about 3 hours in the kitchen preparing my food for the week that night. I'm thinking that as time goes on it'll get quicker and easier. Maybe that thinking isn't realistic, but I'm sticking with it. I boiled one dozen eggs, cooked about 12 chicken tenderloins, washed, cut up and bagged fruits and veggies...I even made my own ranch dressing! I also made some muffins and chicken salad. So yesterday, here's what I ate:

Breakfast: 2 pieces of Ezekiel toast, natural peanut butter and a banana (both on the toast) and water...I was going to put ground flaxseed on the toast but I forgot...can't do it all!

Snack: 2 lemon poppy seed muffins

Lunch: hamburger (no bun), 2 slices of fresh tomato, 4 pieces of lettuce, homemade potato fries (YUM!), and one hard-boiled egg

Snack: apple and natural peanut butter

Supper: homemade chicken salad on whole wheat bread, toasted, sweet potato fries (double YUM!)

I think Sunday's are going to be the hardest for me. We either go to my mom's or out to eat with my in-laws so I don't have much control over what is being served. But my family is aware that I'm eating clean and I'm sure they'll do what they can to help me out. All I've had so far today is breakfast and my first snack. Here's the menu for today:

Breakfast: oatmeal with a mixture of cinnamon, vanilla protein powder, ground flaxseed, agave nectar (it has to have a little sweetness to it!), blueberries, 2 hard-boiled eggs, black coffee (Cinnamon Spice by Dunkin' Donuts), and water

Snack: yogurt (pomegranate Chobani)

Lunch: chicken salad sandwich, grapes

Snack: fresh pineapple and almonds

Supper: broiled eye round steak with garlic mashed potatoes

I typically workout on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings so I had a pre-workout snack scheduled but didn't get to it this morning. I planned on the muffins but I guess they weren't completely cooled when I put them in the baggie and after spending a day in there with some apparent steam, they were stinky. So those are out! Plus I forgot to get my waters ready. So this morning, pre-workout, stank. Literally and figuratively. Oh well. Such is life. All of my meals and snacks have kept me feeling full. When I do feel hungry it's usually time for my next meal. So far, things are going pretty good. Having the food already prepared makes such a HUGE difference! Anyway, time for me to sign off and eat my yummy chicken salad for lunch...it has red grapes and toasted pecans. Oh yes. Here's to another great day of eating clean!

Here's what brought me to this point...

WARNING: I love to talk and am quite good at it, especially when I write. This first post is lengthy and I don't expect most of the others to be this long. But hey, I'm a speech therapist. Talking is what I do...

I know people use the excuse all the time, "I'll start tomorrow," and I used it at least weekly for a while. Just ask my husband. For the longest time it was, "I'm starting on Monday so I'm going to live it up this weekend!" And I always kept my word. Monday would come and I would be perfect! It usually even lasted through Tuesday and maybe even Wednesday. But by the time Thursday would come, I'd be fed up. And when I'd get fed up, I'd feed my face. I am the definition of an "emotional eater." When I'm happy I want to celebrate by eating. When I'm sad, food gives me comfort, When I'm frustrated, I find relief in something sweet. Name an emotion and I'm most likely eating when I feel that way. The "I'm going on a diet and I'm gonna rock it...screw the diet, I want food...no, no, I need to lose weight...screw the pounds, I want food" rollercoaster I was riding was getting really old. I'd be on a weight loss high and within a few days, I had failed once again and I felt completely defeated and worthless. And what would I turn to? Yup, food. Preferable something sweet. But I'd take anything that was availble. And I would be in my slump again until I saw someone with a body I wanted to have. The motivation would return but never stayed long enough to do any good. I was literally going insane. No, seriously. I've heard before that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. What I was doing: insanity. So I decided to try something different. First, I joined a First Place group at my church. It was basically a weekly meeting where we weighed in and discussed the prior week's devotions. It was a wonderful thing and I truly enjoyed the group. Problem was, I basically stunk at keeping up with my daily devotions. It was the same rollercoaster, but instead of with weight loss, it was getting into the Word. I'd make a commitment to "read my Bible everyday and do my devotions." Again, I'd be going strong for two or three days, then things would come up, I'd get lazy, and before I knew it, I had missed the last four days. Again, the feeling of failure and defeat would come. After the session ended, I quit going to the meetings. Not because I didn't enjoy them, but I just felt like I was doing no good. I did, however, continue my attempts to do a daily devotional. Some weeks would be awesome, others not so much. But when I was doing them and really digging into the word, man, what a difference it made. I felt better, had more joy. I was more patient and laidback. Life was really good. So then I decided to join a gym. Well, let me rephrase that. Travis talked me into it. I actually had a membership at a female-only gym but only darkened the doors a day or two a week. Maybe it was because I was trying to do an insanely difficult workout routine that was too much for me at this point. I remember doing the exercises one morning when all of a sudden I had the feeling that I was going to throw up. My face lost all color, my mouth began watering, I could feel the muscles in my stomach and throat tensing. Let me make one thing very clear. I absolutely HATE throwing up. Probably the most disgusting and unpleasant bodily function in my eyes. So I hung out in the bathroom, swallowing violently to keep whatever contents were in my stomach right where they were until the feeling passed. And then, I quit for the day. Note to self: just because I think I can do it doesn't always mean my body can. So after a few months of wasting money on a membership I didn't take advantage of, I gave into Trav and we joined Gold's Gym. I decided to take an exercise class, fully expecting it to only last a week or two, but I was hooked! I went twice a week pretty regularly and really enjoyed myself. The only bummer was that I didn't get home until about 6:45 and by the time I ate, packed my bag for the next day, and got my water bottles ready to go, it was time for bed. I felt like I didn't get to just sit and relax for a bit or spend much time with my husband. So I did the unthinkable. I decided to get up at what I like to refer to as the "butt crack of dawn" to do the 6 a.m. class. It was offered Monday, Wednesday and Friday and since I had to miss the abs workout to get ready for work, I decided I'd check out the abs class on Tuesday and Thursday. Before I knew it, I was getting up every morning at the "butt crack" to go exercise. Have I lost my mind?!?! Then, I did something I NEVER thought I'd do. I started getting up at the butt crack of the butt crack of dawn to go run BEFORE my class! What is up with me?! I've never been one to get up early for anything...ask my family. I hate mornings...loathe them, in fact. But for some reason, I was motivated to get up super early everyday to get my workout in. Those who knew me well were shocked. Proud, but shocked! So here I was getting up every day to do cardio and a 30-45 minute exercise class yet I wasn't losing any weight. Say what?! I know I don't eat that great, but seriously. At that point, I knew that I had to start eating better to see changes. So I stumbled upon Tosca Reno and her Eat Clean Diet. I got her book, "The Eat Clean Diet Recharged" and read it fairly quickly. It all made perfect sense to me and I completely agreed with everything she said. I began my attempts to eat clean and didn't do too bad at first. But one of the keys to this eating clean business is to have a cooler with you packed with clean foods to eat throughout the day. I was trying to pack things every night which was just adding to the stress of not having time to relax and visit with Trav in the evenings. So I've been trying to eat clean when I can but I've really been struggling. I still ride my "I want to be healthy...screw it, I want sweets" rollercoaster, but I think if I can be more organized and prepared, I can actually do this! My goal this summer is to get in the habit of preparing my food for the week in one day so I'm not stressing every night to get it all fixed and put together. I figured if I can get in the habit now while I have ample time, things will be easier when school starts back up in the fall. I just recently got Tosca's book "The Eat Clean Diet Stripped" and I might give that a whirl. All I know is that I want to go at least one month eating clean. One month...4 weeks...28 days. I can do this. One month in the long scheme of things is not that big of a deal. And hopefully after that month, I will feel and look so much better that I won't want to stop. It is also my goal to spend at least a few minutes each day in the Word, doing devotionals. And hopefully it'll be the same way...I won't want to stop at the end of 28 days! So there's my goal. Get healthy spiritually, mentally, and physically. This blog is my way of keeping track of what I do and eat from day to day. It's where I'll talk and express my feelings about it all. It's my way of keeping myself on track and accountable day in and day out. And who knows...maybe I'll help someone else out along the way. Don't be afraid to comment, encourage, give advice, or just say hi...if I know people are reading this, I think it'll help me keep my butt in gear. I plan to start the diet on Sunday, June 5th. I'm not going to "live it up" until then, but I will indulge in some goodness, namely Coldstone. It will be difficult parting ways with Coldstone and I think I've already decided that since it's not often I have the chance to get it, when I do I'm going to take advantage. But I will be making changes in what I order. If I totally broke up with Coldstone, I don't think my heart could go on. So until next time...